Communication patterns between men and women

By Juan Sebastián Cárdenas Salas

I could never take a chance

of losing love to find romance […]

no I could never take a chance

'Cause I could never understand

the mysterious distance

between a man and a woman

U2

As Mark Gungor[1] shows in a funny way, there many differences between the men and women brains, thus, in their communication as well. He explains that men brain is sorted by “little boxes” and have a box for everything -for the car, money, job, his children, love, etc.-, and when a men discuses a particular subject, go to the particular box which contains this particular subject, pull and open it, and discuses just about the content from that box. The main rule is that boxes do not touch each other. On the other hand, about women, He said that their brains are making by “a big ball of wires” where all is connected -Car with job and children, mother with husband, friends with job, etc. - and all this mix of energy-electricity is called “emotion”. This is one of the reasons why women tend to remember everything and its way to communicate with others. In addition, there are some books and literature which talk about the differences between men and women, one of these examples is the book Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus by John Gray. In this book the author expose as men and women seem to be from different planets. Even being biologically similar and using the same words, its behavior codes and language are different[2]. But as a Lieberman[3] says, “we have all grown up on the same planet, and interact with each other in different ways on a daily basis.” One of the most curious differences shown by different research is that women can talk three times more than the men (look chart 1). Women need to say not only more words than men per day, they are express more than men in all ways.

Chart 1 – “women talk three times more than men” cukmi.com (2011)

Other clear examples shown by Lieberman, is that women are more likely than the men to talk to other women when they have a problem or need to make a decision. Men go to their “caves” where keep their problems to themselves and avoid sharing personal issues…they find its own “box” to fix it. Other pattern according with Gray[4] is that the men -mistakenly- offer solutions and disqualify emotions while the women offer unsolicited advice and instructions. Also, according to Sherwood[5], they have a different ways to carry out a talking or making friends. Women friendships focus on making emotional connections, talk is important to this process “Sharing secrets, relating experiences, revealing problems and discussing are essential during girl’s development.” While men take another approach to talk and friendship “Their camaraderie is not less profound […] Buddy groups tend to be larger, focusing on activities rather than conversation”. Finally, according to Lieberman, although is funny to look communication differences between both, we must be careful to not stereotype and assume that all men and women will act in a certain way. It is interesting to know there are male and female structures into both brains which influence on the personality and communication structure from each person. 

Sources

Cumki.com - Women talking until three times more than men
http://cukmi.com/las-mujeres-hablan-hasta-tres-veces-mas-que-los-hombres/

Lieberman Simma, Differences in Male and Female Communication Styles
http://www.simmalieberman.com/articles/maleandfemale.html

Libro-s.com, Gray John, Men are from Mars, women are from Venus
http://www.libro-s.com/l/gray-john-+-los-hombres-son-de-marte-las-mujeres-de-venus-doc-4358/

Mark Gungor, Tale of Two Brains

http://youtu.be/P77JnDHUw6g

Scribd - digital Library online, Men are from Mars, women are from Venus summary

http://es.scribd.com/doc/51985054/Los-hombres-son-de-Marte-y-las-mujeres-de-Venus-resumen

Sherwood Susan, 10 Ways Men and Women Communicate Differently
http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/curiosity/topics/10-ways-men-women-comminucate-differently.htm

U2, A man and a woman (lyrics)

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/A-Man-And-A-Woman-lyrics-U2/4F73F1112F2ECF0C48256F2000063DDF

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[1] Mark Gungor, Tale of Two Brains (published on YouTube)

[2] Book introduction, libro-s.com

[3] Differences in Male and Female Communication Styles by Simma Lieberman

[4] Men are from Mars, women are from Venus summary publish on Scribd online library

[5] 10 Ways Men and Women Communicate Differently by Susan Sherwood